MY Definition of Success

I’ve been reading Mother Untitled since our son was born, and I like the clarity Neha Ruch brings to this underappreciated season of life, when we’re mothering and working in a way that doesn’t fit neatly into a box (or a title). She sifts through the angst to apply business strategies to home life in a way that feels refreshing and inspiring. Recently she was mulling over what it means to be successful when your focus is on family. It’s so easy to feel like because the usual metrics (salary, title, vacations, noteworthy campaigns, big launches, and A-list collaborations) aren’t as relevant to us right now, we’re somehow not successful. But of course, we’re working with intention, focus, and reserves of strength we didn’t know we had in the office. So as we head into the new year, I spent some time asking myself, “How do I know if I’m doing well?” It took a while to sort out what actually makes me feel good about the way I spend my time, not how I think my day should look or how I think someone else might value my efforts, but really focus on what matters to me. In case it inspires you, here’s where I settled on for now. I’m keeping it in my notebook for easy reference and checking in every so often, just to remind myself I’m doing better than I think I am.

Having the flexibility my family depends on

Ending the day with reserves

Having time to take walks and stretch

Keeping the plants healthy

Not feeling rushed

Completing sentences and thoughts

Admiring the people I work with

Feeling connected and relaxed when I’m with my people

Trusting my own ideas (asking “What do I think?”)

Laughing easily

Appreciating beauty 

Is it possible to meet these standards every day? Absolutely not. But reminding myself that this is what matters is possible. For me, this process is less about aiming for perfection and more about looking around and appreciating what’s working for me, even if it doesn’t reflect what we’ve been told to aspire to. That’s my version of success. What’s yours?