Sidewalk Chalk Talk: DeMisty D. Bellinger
Did you think of yourself as a creative kid? What does creativity look like for your these days?
Yes. I went to a magnet school that so happened to be focused on the arts. Elm Creative Arts School (it’s still there in Milwaukee) had this line in our school song: “We’re creative kids, you know/everybody thinks so.” We all had to pick clubs, which was the equivalent of majors, but for kids, and they were all grounded in the arts. During my time at Elm, I was in music, drama, music again and when they started it, creative writing.
I was a loud kid, I think. Everything I did was in broad, sloppy strokes. When I think of my childhood, I think of a kid with lopsided pigtails fistholding a black crayon, forcing thick, shaggy lines across the page. Not much has changed!
These days—COVID days—creativity is slow and probably involves more editing than writing. A couple of weeks ago, I started writing again. I’ve started writing a short story and only some of it worked. I pulled from it and restarted the story. It’s going well. As far as poetry, I’m thinking of poems, but I’m not writing them. Not yet.
How did motherhood change your creative practice?
I’m a strong believer in research feeding creative writing. Before having my girls, I thought I knew what it meant to be a mother. I’d write these mother characters and thought they were authentic. But after having the girls, I realized that I could have never felt a love so desperate and so complete.
This is not to say that every woman should go out there and get herself a child; it may be saying more about my writing! It is saying that I appreciate the experience that mothers have and that we can turn inwards or to mothers (if we’re not moms ourselves) to help inform those mother characters. And it’s not to say that my experience is universal: not all mothers experience near-death childbirths or problem pregnancies. Not all mothers nursed twin vampires for nearly two years. Not all mothers gave birth while completing their comprehensive exams in grad school.
It is to say that the experience of childhood made clear how important research is for writing. And not just the stacks (or Google or, let’s just admit it, in a pinch, Wiki and there’s really nothing wrong with that. It’s fiction or poetry. Just go to Wiki sometimes and get back to your writing), but actual people who hold these experiences.
What’s inspiring you outside of your own genre?
In writing, I love reading creative nonfiction. I’m not very good at it, but I love personal essays that move outside of personal experience, research-informed personal essays. I also love reading horror and some scifi or fantasy. But I like the darker scifi and fantasy.
Otherwise, I am a consumer of all art. One of my favorite pastimes is visiting museums or flipping through art books. I love listening to music of all time and yes, I do listen to music sometimes when I write.
How would you like the world to see artists and mothers?
I would like the world to see us as capable. I’d also would like a basic income or affordable or free childcare. My kids are nearly old enough to be on their own, but it was really difficult to write—and is difficult to write—with them around. I love them so much, but sometimes they need to go play!
So, yes, I’d like the world to see artists as capable mothers and mothers as capable artists. I would like all women who are parents and artists to stop being questioned about their ability to balance both motherhood and their art.
How can we support and encourage each other more?
We have to believe it takes a village. We have to offer each other childcare, feedback on drafts, and treats. We have to check in on each other. I’m very bad with that because my job demands so much of my time, and my family takes a lot of time. I have to do better. I have to manage my time in order to help others to manage theirs.
DeMisty D. Bellinger's chapbook, Rubbing Elbows, is available at Finishing Line Press and her debut full-length collection Peculiar Heritage, is forthcoming in 2021 with Mason Jar Press. She has also published fiction, poetry, and creative nonfiction in many online and print journals and anthologies. Presently, she lives in Massachusetts with her husband and her eleven-year-old twin daughters.
Connect with her at demistybellinger.com and on Twitter @DeMistyB.
The Sidewalk Chalk Talks are inspiring interviews with mothers who are making space for creativity and finding ease and joy in the process. The women I admire are bright, visionary creatures who love their work and their families. The different dimensions of their lives enrich each other and the world we share. I hope these conversations will inspire you and your work!
